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Going it Solo
My 9-year-old thinks he's ready to go to the park with his friends. How can I be sure?
Despite what your child might want you to believe, there's no across-the-board rule that says that every kid is ready for this kind of freedom at age nine. What you're looking for when you're sizing up his readiness to hit the park sans adults is an overall sense that he will be able to act responsibly, cope with any upsetting situations that could arise, and know how to get help in the event of an emergency. You'll also want to let your child know that freedom comes with responsibility: you'll be looking for evidence that he can use his newfound freedom wisely.
You might feel better about letting him spread his wings if you try letting go in stages. You might arrange it so your child's first trip to the park is semi-supervised (e.g., you just happen to take the dog for a walk past the park at the very same time he's hitting the park with his friends!), only for a short period of time, or with a child you know extremely well (e.g., the 9-year-old friend who is as mature and sensible as your average 15-year-old).
Here's another important point to consider when you're trying to decide whether your 9-year-old is ready to hit the park with his friends: what works in a small-town may not necessarily work in the big city. Once you've factored in things like busy streets and the overall safety of the neighbourhood you live in, you may decide that your 9-year-old isnąt quite ready for this kind of freedom quite yet. In this case, you'll want to let your child know that you've decided that the answer is "no‹for now," not "no‹forever." Maybe the situation will be different by this time next year.
- Ann Douglas
This question was answered by Ann Douglas, author of 27 books, including The Mother of All Pregnancy Books (U.S. edition and Canadian edition); The Mother of All Baby Books (U.S. edition and Canadian edition); The Mother of All Toddler Books (U.S. edition and Canadian edition); The Mother of All Parenting Books (U.S. edition or Canadian Edition); and The Mother of All Pregnancy Organizers. Find out more about Ann.