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Sibling Rivalry or Something Else?
My five-year-old is generally a happy, easy-going child, but he's been acting totally hateful to my husband and I for the past few weeks. We're going to be having a baby in another month or two. Do you think that's why his behavior has suddenly taken a turn for the worse?
You are wise to read between the lines when it comes to your son's behavior. He may be trying to mask his true feelings -- pretending to be excited about being a big brother because he thinks that's how he's supposed to feel when, in fact, he may actually be less than thrilled about the fact that there's a baby on the way.
The best way to deal with the situation is to give your son plenty of opportunities to express his true feelings. Talk about other kids you know who don't like their baby brothers, or maybe read a children's book that explores some of these themes.
The important thing is to let your son know that his feelings are perfectly normal and that he can talk to you about whatever it is he's feeling. He needs to know that you won't get upset or angry if he expresses his true feelings.
Of course, it's always possible that something else completely unrelated to your pregnancy is bothering him. Perhaps he's upset about a fight with another child on your street or he's frustrated because he's having trouble learning how to ride his new two-wheeler.
If you make a point of checking in with your child a couple of times a day -- perhaps while the two of you are setting the table for dinner or reading stories before bedtime -- you'll start to get a pretty good idea of what's going on inside his head, and you'll be able to help him to deal with whatever it is that's troubling him. Then you can begin to deal with the underlying problem.
- Ann Douglas
This question was answered by Ann Douglas, author of 27 books, including The Mother of All Pregnancy Books (U.S. edition and Canadian edition); The Mother of All Baby Books (U.S. edition and Canadian edition); The Mother of All Toddler Books (U.S. edition and Canadian edition); The Mother of All Parenting Books (U.S. edition or Canadian Edition); and The Mother of All Pregnancy Organizers. Find out more about Ann.